Archive for July, 2007

Pets & Children

Sunday, July 29th, 2007

I now view the phrase “screwing the pooch” in a different light.

Obituary Writers In The UK

Sunday, July 29th, 2007

They really know how to bury the dead.

Key Quote: “Count Gottfried von Bismarck, who was found dead on Monday aged 44, was a louche German aristocrat with a multi-faceted history as a pleasure-seeking heroin addict, hell-raising alcoholic, flamboyant waster and a reckless and extravagant host of homosexual orgies.”

Why We Need Scientists

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

Because they persevere.

Key Quote: “Grigioni, now back in Switzerland, said she could normally get tortoises to ejaculate within minutes, but spent months manually stimulating George and never extracted semen from him.”

Science Shoots Forward

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

The G-Shot.

Heliocentrism Is An Atheist Doctrine

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

Key Quote: “It seems clear that it may occasionally be convenient to assume that the calculations of Copernicus and Kepler were mathematically sound. However, for both moral and theological reasons, we should always bear in mind that the Earth does not move. If it moved, we would feel it moving. That’s called empiricism, the experience of the senses.”

When You Get Rape U.S.E’d

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

It’s all part of God’s Plan for you.

Building Blocks For A Happy Marriage

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

Key Quote: “He is the head of your household, and God placed him in authority over you. Learn when he wants you to give advice, and when he desperately needs someone to believe in his plan. Learn to be silent even when you disagree. Learn to just squeeze his hand or distract him with a kiss when he might be saying unkind words to someone else. There are times when you will need to speak up, humbly. Practice being a submissive wife so he will hear you at those times.”

I prefer the more poetic version preferred by wife-beaters.

Kids and Laptops

Monday, July 23rd, 2007

Well, what did you expect?

If You Found Space Invaders Too Intellectual…

Friday, July 20th, 2007
Poo Dodger

Tip: Hold on to the mouse button to concentrate on the Ultimate Power!

Attention Internet Users

Friday, July 20th, 2007

You know you want this.

Attention Fat Women

Friday, July 20th, 2007

There is hope.

Coming This 07.07.07

Saturday, July 7th, 2007

Insects On A Plane.

Seriously, there’s so much happening globally that there’s not much point in planning anything on this date; much thunder-stealing.

China

Saturday, July 7th, 2007

The land of culture.